Now I have to start to get use to life staying at home.  Morning have to get my son ready to school, then do some chores and cook lunch for him.  After than go get him back from school.  Feed him, make him nap etc… everyday… monday to friday….

Hope I will get use to it soon.

I am so sleepy today…no mood to work.

Today is also my dad’s pass away 3rd 7 days. I did not go pray because today is more important for the son. For the 5th 7 days then is for daughter to buy all the praying food. Then follow by 7th 7 days which is 49 days. On that day we all need to go to Nilai memorial park to pray and put up the ancestor place.

This few weekends mum been going to the Guan yin temple to pray for my dad. Guan yin told her that my dad been coming back everyday to see her. He also asks her to take care of herself and eat well. Yesterday I go visit mum and she is not well. After living for so long, I seldom see her fall sick, I feel very heartache. May be she just missed dad, but she just don’t show us. But she is more prepared than anyone of us when my dad collapsed.

It was 9:45am, I received mum’s phone call. I am still blurred even though already started work for 1 hr. She say if can please come by immediately, dad is not breathing anymore. She called every one of us so calmly. The moment I heard the news, I was stunned and my brain gone blank. I don’t know what I need to do. It just gone blanked. After few minutes, I call HR and informed that I need to take emergency leave and informed hubby as well. After that I went to tell my HOD as well. I was running up n down because I forget certain thing. It happened so sudden and I am totally not prepared n still in shocked.

When I was driving to my mum’s house, I don’t know which way to take. End up I take my usual way to go home and detour to mum’s house. On the way there, I feel short of breathe and my tears just keeps falling down. After a while I start saying prayer to calm myself down. I so scared I will met an accident at that time because I just can’t really concentrate with what I am doing at that time.

After reach mum’s house, hubby is outside greeting me. When I went in the house, my sis, bro in law, sis in law is massaging dad. After awhile, 2nd brother arrived and also Dr. Low. He help to do some CPR and he advise us to sent dad to hospital. Hubby called the ambulance, they are asking so many questions and taking so long to come, we end up cancel it and sent dad by bro in law’s van to HUKM. We were waiting outside the emergency room so anxiously. And they take so long to come out to tell us that they have tried their best but can’t help. Ask us to go inside and see dad for the last time.

Me n eldest sis is waited outside the bilik mayat until 3:30pm. While 2nd sis and brother is going to Xiao en center. When the xiao en center people come only managed to bring dad to xiao en center. After that only I and hubby went home to take a shower n change clothes and we rush out again to avoid the jam.

After cremation on Thursday, everything only settle on Friday when we bring the ashes to put in the Nilai Memorial park.

Dad – Rest in peace and we will miss you……………

People say economy is not good, but my company is hiring everyday. Jobstreets.com is full of vacancy posted on it. Why is it says economy no good? Every weekend when I go to 1 Utama, I still see people buying all the branded goods, not one bag, but many bags. Expensive restaurants still full house. With the H1N1 disease going around, people still go out shopping, go cinema watch Transformers, is it really that bad?

H1N1 already goes to 6 degree, is quite bad, but dun seems people scared of it. Still go to oversea and crowded places. Also the haze… this morning, the moment I step out my car when I reach office… I can smell the burning smell, is very bad at this area….

When will all these H1N1, Haze over? I wanted to go holiday man… because of these I have to on hold my plan, don’t want to take the chance.

The other day boss ask me to issue cheque for salary.  Was very confident that day is 28 August. Padahal is only 27 August.  So after work immediately i go to bank in the cheque, so i had bank in postdated cheque lor. When i find out the mistake is already 2 days later.  The bank also never call to inform me about that. And i try to call the branch I bank in the cheque, after so many try at last someone pick up.  So i told her that i had bank in a postdated cheque.  You know what she say, she ask me — Kenapa awak bank in postdated cheque?  At that moment i really feel like slap her on the face if she was in front of me.  If i know that is postdated cheque, i wouldn’t bank it in already lar.  Why she have to ask this kind of stupid questions?  Then i ask her now i need to collect the cheque at your branch or wut, she say it will be courier to my address which i given to the bank.  So i ask her when i will receive it? She answer — I tak tau lar, ini semua handle by head office.  After that I ask her, can she check for me the tracking number of the courier so i can check with the courier company when i can receive the cheque back. She answer — Tak tau lar, ini semua handle by head office, kita sini tak boleh buat apa-apa.  After hearing this, i tell her thank you and put down the phone.  In my heart, i going to close all the account from this bank and open in a more reputable bank like HSBC/CTB.  Their customer service will definitely be better than this local bank eventhough they have so many branch all over Malaysia and supported strongly by the government. I bank in two cheque on that day, so both returned and being charge RM 5 each.

Yesterday I remembered my CTB not yet pay and it should be due already.  So quickly I check my statement.  I was due on the 10/Sept.  Again RM 5 for late payment charge. My god.  It is like a curse to me. Why so many RM 5 charge to me this mth. Should I buy 4D? May be will strike 1st price? Haha….

发烧又高又低，连续看了医生好多天，喉咙好像快要撕裂般，头也快痛到裂，从喉咙感染，竟然轮到眼睛感染。 从左眼传到右眼，搞到双眼通红。每天躺在床上睡得头昏脑胀的，好辛苦，不睡又不行，只好乖乖呆在家里蒙头大睡。

有时病下也挺好的，虽然很辛苦，但是却能在短短几天减掉几磅平常如何减吃运动也丢不掉的肥肉。

以前已搬过好多次家，但这次是最累的一次。虽然很累，但是当时真得很紧张又刺激，时间有限， 赶死赶命都必须尽快打包完所有物品， 好让所有东西都可尽量塞上40尺的罗里，可以尽早离开。上完罗里还得继续挤大姐和爸的车。好不容易天都黑了才搞定一切。

漏夜赶车，赶回这儿已是第二天早上六点钟了。我们大家都累得不管三七二十一地趴在床上睡着了。不知不觉睡到八点半了，我和我姐又醒来继续打战。因罗里早在半夜三点半到达了。大家忙着巴罗里上的东西一一搬了下来。还好姐夫不知从哪找了四个苦力帮我们下了全部笨重的衣橱，不然我们不止累死，我看腰骨也可能断掉吧！

吃完午餐后，大家都筋疲力尽了，纷纷倒下蒙头大睡。

真不知我还要睡多久才会恢复元气呢？希望这个周末可以大肆休息吧！

有时我真得很讨厌你，为何你就不能试着学习如何控制自己的情绪，为什么一定要向身边无辜的人发泄自己的不愤？让自己过得好一点，不要为了无谓的事情而破坏了自己美好的一天，还搞得其他无辜的旁人也和自己一起受罪。自己不开心还弄得旁人也一起不开心，到底应不应该呢？难道就只有你不开心吗？或许其实别人也有不开心的事，但却掩饰起来，不想别人也被自己影响。

当你觉得不开心时，试着深呼吸，数1-3，往好的方面想，或站在别人的立场想一下，可能会有不同的效果。这样一来一切都会变得海阔天空啦！