Another “peace” of my thought today

Posted under Feelings... by angel

Today my office is so quiet. 80% of the staffs all went for company trip at Pulau Pangkor. Early morning I have to walk up n down the stairs to open the warehouse, another office block. Make me sweating like hell.

I am so sleepy today…no mood to work.

Today is also my dad’s pass away 3rd 7 days. I did not go pray because today is more important for the son. For the 5th 7 days then is for daughter to buy all the praying food. Then follow by 7th 7 days which is 49 days. On that day we all need to go to Nilai memorial park to pray and put up the ancestor place.

This few weekends mum been going to the Guan yin temple to pray for my dad. Guan yin told her that my dad been coming back everyday to see her. He also asks her to take care of herself and eat well. Yesterday I go visit mum and she is not well. After living for so long, I seldom see her fall sick, I feel very heartache. May be she just missed dad, but she just don’t show us. But she is more prepared than anyone of us when my dad collapsed.

It was 9:45am, I received mum’s phone call. I am still blurred even though already started work for 1 hr. She say if can please come by immediately, dad is not breathing anymore. She called every one of us so calmly. The moment I heard the news, I was stunned and my brain gone blank. I don’t know what I need to do. It just gone blanked. After few minutes, I call HR and informed that I need to take emergency leave and informed hubby as well. After that I went to tell my HOD as well. I was running up n down because I forget certain thing. It happened so sudden and I am totally not prepared n still in shocked.

When I was driving to my mum’s house, I don’t know which way to take. End up I take my usual way to go home and detour to mum’s house. On the way there, I feel short of breathe and my tears just keeps falling down. After a while I start saying prayer to calm myself down. I so scared I will met an accident at that time because I just can’t really concentrate with what I am doing at that time.

After reach mum’s house, hubby is outside greeting me. When I went in the house, my sis, bro in law, sis in law is massaging dad. After awhile, 2nd brother arrived and also Dr. Low. He help to do some CPR and he advise us to sent dad to hospital. Hubby called the ambulance, they are asking so many questions and taking so long to come, we end up cancel it and sent dad by bro in law’s van to HUKM. We were waiting outside the emergency room so anxiously. And they take so long to come out to tell us that they have tried their best but can’t help. Ask us to go inside and see dad for the last time.

Me n eldest sis is waited outside the bilik mayat until 3:30pm. While 2nd sis and brother is going to Xiao en center. When the xiao en center people come only managed to bring dad to xiao en center. After that only I and hubby went home to take a shower n change clothes and we rush out again to avoid the jam.

After cremation on Thursday, everything only settle on Friday when we bring the ashes to put in the Nilai Memorial park.

Dad – Rest in peace and we will miss you……………